And That's One to Grow On...

If you're in my generational cohort, you probably spent a good deal of your just-out-of-college time watching shows like Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210 ("Bev Niner"). My favorite part of Bev Niner was always that once-per-month episode where The Kids From 90210 Learn About [poverty, racism, homophobia, eating disorders, drug abuse] And Help Someone Along The Way.
I waited expectantly for that episode every time because I knew it would be annoying, contrived, borderline offensive in its cluelessness and unintentionally funny in all the wrong ways, kind of like Tori Spelling herself.

I mean, yes, you could argue that Bev Niner was simply mining a well-worn TV series plot structure, but at least Laura Ingalls lived in the same kind of log cabin and took the same kind of lunch pail to school as the kids she learned lessons about. At least John Boy and Jim Bob Walton wore overalls 24/6 (they wore proper britches to go to church on Sunday, I'm sure), just like their kinfolk and classmates. The reason 90210 was so laughably annoying was that they'd find a way for Tori Spelling "Donna" to meet some inner-city girl with a heart of gold working at the local supermarket who inadvertently reveals to Donna that she is being abused/threatened with death by gunshot/afraid of the gangs on her street/being pressured to have sex-crack-whatever, and Donna just can't sleep at night thinking of this girl and so looks her up and goes to her house to "help" her where (OF COURSE!) the story becomes All About Donna, who is threatened with death by gunshot/afraid of the gangs on her street/being pressured to have sex-crack-whatever, but escapes and finds a way for the Inner City Girl With A Heart of Gold to get a job at the 90210 Dean and Deluca, thereby saving her from her old job at the Price Chopper in Compton. Inner City Girl is grateful, "doesn't know how to thank" Donna enough, goes on, we can only assume, to a life of ease and financial freedom as the manager of said Dean and Deluca, and, once again, The Kids From 90210 have learned a valuable lesson about being caring and compassionate.

Which is why I loved this post at Best Week Ever about movie stars inspiring and helping gangs of unruly thugs and drug dealers:

Movie Stars Teach Us So Much

Jesus Loves the Red Sox

While we're on the topic of the presumptuous human interpretation of God's word, I offer you this from the good people at bustedtees.com:

The War on Christianity, DeLay-Style

Tom DeLay, the clearly shameless malefactor from Congress, delivered a speech to a crowd of about 300 attending a conference titled "The War on Christians and the Values Voter in 2006."

DeLay gave a rousing sermon-like speech that outlined the "War on Christianity" in America today. DeLay said, "we have been chosen to live as Christians at a time when our culture is being poisoned. ... God made us specifically for it. ... Jesus Christ himself made us just so that we could live in this nation at this time."

Wow. That's pretty heady stuff from a mere mortal, to venture a guess as to why God has put him on the earth, and to have that guess be "to represent God's viewpoint." But by far the best and richest quote came from a Reverend Rick Scarborough, who told the audience "This is a man, I believe, God has appointed ... to represent righteousness in government."

Reeeaaaallly?!!! Surely that comment drew laughter, or maybe just some snickers, or perhaps even just some under the breath chortling? Nope! Scarborough said DeLay had been "nearly destroyed in the press," and that he shouldn't worry about his re-election campaign. After all, "God always does his best work after a crucifixion."

So let me get this straight. Hillary uses the word "plantation" and it goes three news cycles, but Tom DeLay's supporter compares his legal and ethical troubles with the crucifixion of the Savior, and not a peep out of Bill O'Reilly?! Curious, isn't it?

The Rev. Barry Lynn, who heads Americans United for Separation of Church and State, said "what you have here are second-tier preachers who are hoping to hit the big time, desperately hoping for a national spotlight..." by trumping up some "war on Christianity."

Let's be honest. How can there be a war against 76% of the US population?* Who is carrying out this war? The 1% Jews, the 1% Muslims, the 2% Mormons, the 10% "other" or the 10% "none"? Even if every Jew, Muslim, Latter Day Saint, Hindu, Sikh, Zoroastrian, atheist and agnostic teamed up, we'd still only be 24% against 76%. And that is 76% of people with not only the Father but the Son AND the Holy Spirit on their side, mind you.

We're no match for those odds, surely...

*http://www.nationmaster.com/country/us/rel

Ten Ways Dems Can Win in 2008: Number One

Number 1 in a series of potentially winning ideas:

Scalia Flips the Sicilian Bird

From the Boston Herald, this enjoyable nugget regarding His Excellency the Most Very Honorable Antonin Scalia, protector of religious values in America:

Minutes after receiving the Eucharist at a special Mass for lawyers and politicians at Cathedral of the Holy Cross, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia had a special blessing of his own for those who question his impartiality when it comes to matters of church and state.
“You know what I say to those people?” Scalia, 70, replied, making an obscene gesture under his chin when asked by a Herald reporter if he fends off a lot of flak for publicly celebrating his conservative Roman Catholic beliefs.
“That’s Sicilian,” the Italian jurist said, interpreting for the “Sopranos” challenged.
“It’s none of their business,” continued Scalia, who was the keynote speaker at yesterday’s Catholic Lawyers’ Guild luncheon. “This is my spiritual life. I shall lead it the way I like.”
The conduct unbecoming a 20-year veteran of the country’s highest court - and just feet from the Mother Church’s altar - was captured by a photographer for the Archdiocese of Boston newspaper The Pilot, whose publisher is newly minted Cardinal Sean O’Malley.

Oh To Be Worthy of Umberto...

Another reason I've been a bad blogger lately?

Umberto Eco. Author of The Name of the Rose, Foucault's Pendulum and other dense but satisfying works over the years. This time, courtesy of the inimitable BB, I have been slogging my way through "The Island of the Day Before."

Oh Dear God. Y'all. It's been my second job getting through this book. Why? I'll put it this way: I'm on page 265 and it is still not clear what in sam hill is going on. I was thinking lo around Page 100, as I have thought while reading other Eco books, that perhaps I am not bright enough to be entrusted with Umberto's ouevre. It's not the verbiage. I, more than your average person, love books with words like, "venenific unguents" "antipodal meridian" or "peregrinations." It's not the vocabulary. It's that I'm more than half way through the book and I'm wondering if anyone knows enough Italian, Latin and medieval history in advance to competently navigate this tome.

The New York Times reviewer gushed the following: "Every age gets the classics it deserves. I hope we deserve 'The Island of the Day Before'."

Hmm. Guess not...

Lazy Blogger. Blame the Brits.

It's been a few days since my last post. The reason? One word: MI-5. The BBC show about the sort of UK version of the FBI. I saw it once when I was in London for work (under the British title "Spooks" which doesn't really work in the USA for obvious reasons) and almost considered moving there to see more of it. Luckily for me, there is Netflix, glorious Netflix! So instead of blogging, I've been watching entire seasons of MI-5. Sorry.

Check it out for yourself: BBC-Spooks