Saturday, November 08, 2008

Gettin' Medieval On Your Ass

I was going to name this post "Weekend Update" but it didn't quite capture the quality of what's going on.

First, I have Lyme Disease and am now on massive antibiotics of the most unpleasant nature in order to stem the rapidly spreading bulls-eye welts and my rapidly-progressing arthritic knees and wrists. No joke. I can't bend down and can barely hold anything heavier than a book. What the hell?!! How--and where--did I get bitten by a damn tick?! I've barely left the damn house in a year and a half! Ach. Who knows. All I know is that doxycycline is wildly unpleasant but sadly necessary for a full 4-week cycle.

So I've got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Then this evening the BBDD and I attended a friend's birthday event at one of those Medieval Castle places. I've never been to one, never really wanted to go, and didn't really know what to expect. It's like dinner theater except there is no real "dinner" and the theater is seeing the other attendees getting so drunk they actually find the pseudo-Shakespearean ribaldry funny. We obviously had a great time because we were there primarily to celebrate with our friend enjoying the party of his choosing. But damn, y'all. I can't drink alcohol. Which means this was three hours of totally excruciating "entertainment" along the lines of what a sober person feels at an office karaoke party. In addition, I was--no surprise--having ALL kinds of germophobic issues with the food and the venue. It's "medieval" so the food comes to the table in a big bucket and is served onto your plate by a wench. Fair enough. But I don't eat food from a communal bucket, not even for Sarah Palin's wardrobe budget. I sure as hell don't drink from a bowl that just had the server's thumb inside it. And I don't eat uncooked veggies unless I've washed them myself. So for dinner I ate: one package of peanut M&M's that I'd--thank you lord--kept in my purse for Bambina meltdowns. It was one of those nights where you just keep telling yourself, "This night is not about me, this night is not about me," you smile, you laugh, and you pass the time thinking about what you're going to make for dinner the second you walk in the door.

When we did walk in the door our new babysitter was still alive and seemingly unfazed by her evening with Bambina. As you know, Bambina does not get cranky when tired (well, not entirely); she gets punch drunk. So when the babysitter arrived for this, her first gig with us, she was greeted by Bambina who was (as she called herself) "naked as a jaybird," tap dancing, while pretending she was a Rottweiler puppy named Strawberry Soup.

It was certainly bizarre, but still way better than medieval dinner theater.

Yes We Have No Obamas

I didn't post yesterday. This video explains why:

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Some Snippets

As always, Wonkette has the funniest take on a couple of things going on:

On Rahm Emanuel's consideration of the Chief of Staff job:
Possible next White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel is being terribly cruel to his fan base by reminding them that he is already married, with children. “I do know something about the White House and I have children now. I have a family,” he told WLS-TV in Chicago. These “children” of his might require more of his time or something, more time than a Chief of Staff could really afford, so he might have to stick with his day job of being a huge dick to all his colleagues in the House of Representatives.

On the Obamas' new puppy:
Oh look at those Obamas once again “doing the right thing” and being decent or whatever. The terrorist cell “PETA” just sent us this email, claiming that “Obama and his wife, Michelle, have announced that they will adopt a rescued dog for their daughters instead of patronizing a pet store or breeder.” Oh la dee dah, President Hopes-a-lot, going to save an innocent puppy (probably a “street organizer” single-parent puppy) from euthanasia while shutting down Joe the Breeder’s puppy mill, HENGHH?

And, of course, The Onion:
Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job
WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress

WASHINGTON—After emerging victorious from one of the most pivotal elections in history, president-elect Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome. Faced with losing everything, Americans took a long overdue step forward and elected Barack Obama.

Although polls going into the final weeks of October showed Sen. Obama in the lead, it remained unclear whether the failing economy, dilapidated housing market, crumbling national infrastructure, health care crisis, energy crisis, and five-year-long disastrous war in Iraq had made the nation crappy enough to rise above 300 years of racial prejudice and make lasting change.

"Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, 'Things are finally as terrible as we're willing to tolerate," said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. "To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you."

Added Obama, "It's a great day for our nation."

First Against the Wall...

...is apparently Sarah Palin, in the blame-game that has been simmering among former McCain campaign staff. I've never been a fan of Sarah Palin, and I certainly feel vindicated as reports of even MORE ludicrous spending sprees by her and her family come to light, as well as her ongoing proud KnowNothing-ism. But my only response to all of these attempts to rehab John McCain's image is this:

He Picked Her.

He selected a person he barely knew based on, reportedly, the advice of Karl Rove and Bill Kristol. He went against his better judgment on the advice on people not even employed by his campaign, one of whom who played a giant role in smearing his Bangladeshi-born daughter just 4 years earlier. He did the political equivalent of meeting someone in a bar and asking her to marry him. That goes to judgment. As in, a serious lack of it. So insult Palin all you like, folks. But:

John McCain Picked Her.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

What The Election Means To Me, By E

IMHO, the major takeaways from this election:

First, this was a landslide. It will hopefully stem any Rethuglican desire to contest the election. After all, when you get your ass solidly handed to you in a decisive and clear smackdown, it's best not to look like a sore loser.

Second, Obama knew something the McCain campaign didn't: The demographics of America are changing. A national candidate can no longer ignore non-white voters and expect to get elected. And it's about goddamned time. We can talk about how this is "a black thing" but let's not forget that 62% of Asians went Obama, a similarly large percentage of Latinos went Obama...and...not the least of which a large number (though not a majority) of whites went Obama. Obama won because he put this all together. Look at the 2004 Bush victory map compared to last night's: America is a different place. The "real America" is the one reflected in last night's vote. McCain completely missed the mark, making Joe the Plumber his American Everyman. He may be, but so are Cho the Plumber and Roberto the Investment Banker. Non-whites are not all poor immigrants. They are as American and middle class as you and me--and Joe the inescapable and unavoidable plumber.

On the topic of the 96% of African-Americans who voted for Obama, let me say this: certainly some may have voted for the historic nature of a black president. But let's get real; they didn't come out in droves for Jesse Jackson or Alan Keyes. The majority of black Americans are already Democrats, so it's not like they voted against their own belief systems just to vote for a black man. Rather than--as the WSJ wants to do--make this about blacks voting for blacks (forgetting that blacks have been voting for whites since blacks got the damn vote), the WSJ and the Republican Party should be asking why more African-Americans are not Republicans. The answer, they already know. So do you and I. How do you allow rallies for your Vice-Presidential candidate to devolve into shouts of "N***er!" and expect a single black person to want to support you? How do multiple videos of your supporters outside your rallies show them openly admitting that they will never vote for "a black," without any protest from the candidates running? Rather than getting all up in the face of black people who voted for a candidate who happens to be biracial (FYI, he's NOT "mixed race" as the WSJ called him today. Hellooo?! Is this 1963? He's a product of "race mixing?" It's "biracial" and "multiracial." But again, the fact that "mixed race" made it past the WSJ editors shows how much they Just Don't Get It), they should be asking themselves what they have done to deserve a single Black or Asian or Latino vote. What has the party done to make itself inclusive? Perhaps what they need is more "race mixing," huh?

The generational divide is clear, and not necessarily based on voter age, but rather state of mind. Obama is a post-civil rights, post-Boomer president. The torch has been passed to him by and for those who don't want to fight all those old battles and who don't respond to old-timey divisive rhetoric (except for all those Southern states that went for McCain...). I'm not sure about your family, but mine is interracial, so anything that smells like calling someone not a "real" American or allowing racism against any group to flourish at a rally is an absolute dealbreaker for me. My family is, I believe, where America is headed. How many interracial (not just black/white) marriages do you know? How many "mixed race" (I'll stop saying it as soon as I can say it without the Orval Faubus accent) kids have they produced? How many of your family members or friends happen to be gay? Do you want to live in an America where they are seen as somehow a cancer on the country's values? I sure don't, and I sure as hell won't vote for someone whose party says so via its "base."

And on the issue of governing: President Obama is going to have to be an effing GREAT president because we know that when you are a minority you have to be twice as great to be considered half as good. An adequate President Obama will be a massive failure. Nothing less than Jackie Robinson/Jesse Owens stuff will do. But no pressure, Barry!

Another thought on the race issue: Bambina doesn't get race or ethnicity yet, only skin color. She knows that her skin is brown and that Obama's is browner. I didn't vote for Obama because he's biracial, but it's a bonus as much as I'm not supposed to say that in the interests of political correctness. But hear me out. Growing up it never once occurred to me to question the notion that People In Charge Look Like Me. They just always did. Imagine growing up where that is not the case. I am hopeful for the day when a brown-skinned person in the White House is seen by my daughter as no big deal and obvious, much as my generation views interracial dating and gay marriage as seriously no big deal. She's only 4, but she's not stupid. She gets that she's brown; she gets that he's brown and his two little brown girls (and a puppy, mama!) will be in the White House. If you're white and not inclined to think about stuff like this you don't get why it matters. But believe me, it matters. It matters. It matters.

And finally, I hope what this election says is the following: Let it never be said in these amazing United States of America that having hope for a better country and a better tomorrow has to be synonymous with the cynical notion of having "drunk the kool-aid." There are so many reasons I supported President-Elect Obama. A key one was his statement that, "in no other country on earth is my story possible." I happen to feel the same way, every day. And no one is going to tell me that that is drinking the Kool-Aid, folks. Where I come from that's called patriotism. Here in Real America.

A Little Comic Relief

This made me laugh:

The Speech

As promised, here it is:

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could

be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama.

Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics - you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington - it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has

not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers - in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity.

Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends...though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding

hope.

For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing - Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot.

Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a

people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.